Resilience Through Trauma
Tragedy, loss, and grief strike us individually and collectively, in unexpected and often harsh ways. The tragic and horrific scenes from Bondi Beach last Sunday are a sad reminder that intolerance and hatred exist, and when they collide with ordinary people practising their faith with friends and family, the consequences are too terrible to contemplate. Tragedy can leave individuals feeling powerless, angry, dazed, and hurt beyond belief, and as their neural capacities and nervous systems are overtaken by “flight or fear”, rational thinking can be almost impossible. These feelings can often be more intense when the sufferer is living with a disability. Yet by respecting their autonomy and focusing on their strengths and abilities rather than limitations, and listening to their needs in a safe place, we can help them to overcome their loss and to manage it in an individual way. While each of us is different, and our personal loss and feelings are unique, by collaborating with those in pain, “working with you” rather than “doing things for you”, which is often so important for people with a disability, can help through trust and empathy, to empower a person throughout their journey of recovery.
As a counsellor and a person, my heart goes out to all those in pain from the terrible events at Bondi Beach. Trauma-informed care can offer us all certain illuminating principles to help us manage loss and the loss felt within and by the community.
* Acknowledge and validate feelings in a way that shows empathy and understanding, without judgment.
* Be flexible in communications, letting each person express their feelings in their own way.
* Facilitate and acknowledge spiritual rituals and community events, which can help in processing grief.
* Encourage coping skills to allow a person to focus on the present and the future, to help manage distress and anxiety, while processing individual grief.
* Collaborative support systems through families, friends, work colleagues, and professional bereavement counsellors can help reduce any sense of isolation and loneliness.
Tragic deaths often lead to feelings of anger, hatred, and blame. This is a natural part of experiencing a traumatic loss and wanting to blame someone or something for the loss. However painful it might be, care and understanding should be demonstrated so that such feelings do not descend into deeper personal issues, such as depression and more significant post-traumatic stress disorders. We can all play our part in helping clients in diverse circumstances and, as a community, in joining together to empower and respect those who seek to practice their faith in peace, yet who paid the ultimate price for that cherished freedom.
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