Thoughts and thinking in Counselling

Last weekend, while re-reading Joseph Nguyen’s insightful book, Don’t Believe Everything you Think, I started to ponder on the cognitive processes that occur when clients have thoughts and keep thinking about them, particularly when they are experiencing negative, challenging emotions and feelings. Lao Tzu once observed that: “stop thinking and end your problems”. However, neurological features of memories, the impact of long term trauma and shame or guilt can often make thinking an overwhelming experience. Indeed, while it can be easy to talk of self-reflection, that is by no means easy for clients facing mental health challenges. Negative thoughts so often merge into emotional thinking and lead to ongoing mental and physical suffering. A random thought, such as “I lost my job”, is emotionally neutral. Yet when thinking and analysis take over, emotive thinking can take a negative turn, focusing on “I’m not good enough”, or “everyone is judging me” or “I’ll never recover from this”. Suffering occurs when our thinking reacts in a negative manner, taking us away from the present, or here and now, to the past and to speculation in a way that can be difficult to manage.

One approach in working with clients may be to adopt the PAUSE approach: Pause, to ground yourself in the present without judgment; Ask, Do I want to keep thinking like this and suffering? Understand, the choice to let go of the thinking, say, and repeat that thinking is not helping me, it makes me suffer; and Experience your emotions without thinking or judgment. Then, encourage clients to become immersed in a positive thought or task, to let go and surrender themselves into the moment and the flow of surrender and trust into the task is like an ocean of calm and focus, not on negative thinking, but on the task at hand. Fundamental to this is the notion of doing so in a safe space, collaborating in an empathetic therapeutic alliance that helps to empower a vulnerable client to, in a person-centred framework, make self-directed changes in their lives, recognising the individuality of each person with unique experiences. A positive thought can be framed around what a client likes, such as “I love Mozart’s music” or “exercise clears my head”. The time taken not to think can promote relaxation, and with a cup of tea (often full of old thinking), the head can be cleared (refilling the cup with a present focus rather than a past problem). A fresh cup of tea with a new thinking approach might well be underrated, yet, depending on the client’s circumstances, it might help along the journey of recovery. I would love to know what works for you in helping clients to reset their ways of thinking, to promote more positive thoughts and hence, thinking.